No one is Responsible for your Happiness, But you
Stop over-thinking and reduce expectation, subtract in your daily life
Yesterday, I got together with some college classmates I haven’t seen for a long time. Dianna is still very fashionable and looks like a rich lady, Eva has been working in a bank for more than a decade and now works as a small leader in the investment department. Tina is still everyone’s pistachios like at school, talking about the strange anecdotes that happened around, and her cat.
After drinking some champagne, everyone had a slightly drunk, a faint redness on cheeks. Women are also beginning to expose their own life’s troubles and confusion. Compared with colleagues and family, I’m afraid the college honey classmates are the most worry-free to talk to.
Dianna is very fashionable, wearing a variety of luxury brands from head to toe. She works for a financial institution in Beijing's CBD, where she earns about 12,000 yuan a month, so she can’t afford these expensive items, many of her luxury products are imitations.
Eva has been in this position for 10 years, she has to pay attention to her words and behaviors in the banking institutions, for fear that any mistake will let others seize the handle, lose the opportunity for promotion. And Tina shows her funny in front of others because she is afraid to let people see her inner sadness. She just got divorced recently.
We confided in each other, talked a lot, cried, and laughed. We comforted and encouraged each other until the restaurant closed.
Turns out, everyone lives exhausted and anxious.
On the taxi home, I thought a lot. As we just talked at the party, we should make some changes for ourselves and for the people who really love us.
Stop Over-Thinking and Reduce Expectation
Don’t always be the agreeable people and reduce unnecessary socializing.
As an old Chinese saying:
“Be the one sending carbon in the snow, don’t be the one icing on the cake.”
Friends send messages and pictures on the social platform, you give a thumbs-up every time, once you miss it one day, others will complain a bit. Why? Because he or she is used to your praise to them.
And the same with ourselves.
We expect our sharing could get feedback from our friends. Those who never give you likes or comments, if give you a hug when you’re in pain, you’ll feel like he or she is always been the best person for you.
Human nature makes it. No need to tangle.
For those who love to share pictures of food, baby, and travel, please also minimize the number of times. After sending out the carefully trimmed pictures, you will instinctively go frequently to see if there are friends like or comments. Have you ever thought the friends behind the picture who help you comment also need to painstakingly worded?
So minimize doing things that make it difficult for you and others.
You just have to remember that if you bloom, the butterfly comes from you.
In addition, there is another side of human nature, jealousy. In fact, no one wants others to be better than themselves, especially those who are considered to be similar in appearance and ability.
In conclusion, if you identify with individual differences, don’t think too much, and lower your expectations of things, be yourself, accept difference, don’t take criticism as being patronizing, you’ll be happier and healthier.
Subtract in Your Daily Life
Subtract Negativity and Comparison
If you want to win the respect of others, you must respect yourself first.
Don’t try to compare yourself to others, because comparisons either make you conceited or increase your negativity. And the negative vibe will make you more in-active, hinder your growth. This is a vicious circle.
Clean up your phone album and apps
You should delete those wobbly, blurry photos taken during travel, the dozens of selfies taken when we were bored, even the photos of your ex, and so on. As well as those apps that have only used once or twice after download. Especially those dating apps, many platforms have become PUA’s world, don’t be silly.
Reduce the purchase of luxury goods that far exceed your income
You have to pay the credit card bill yourself, eventually. Most times, others will be close to you because of your own charm and character. Sophisticated clothing and designer bags are also important, but definitely not the most important.
Don’t be brainwashed by consumerism and fashion trends, stick to your style, people with the same tastes will approach you, you will get along with them more comfortably and topical.
One of my best friends recently tried to quit sugar, which is said to be good for fighting oxidation and aging. She also advised me to give it a try, and I thanked her for sharing, but I couldn’t resist the temptation of dessert and chocolate. They’re part of my happy life, so I smiled and thanked her, I still eat chocolate, just eat more dark chocolate.
In fact, your happiness is up to you. Others can’t replace your physical pain, they can’t appreciate what you’ve been through, so their comments and opinions don’t really make much sense, and some are just polite feedback.
We can refer to excellent advice and then make our own decisions.
No one will be responsible for your happiness, but you.
Thanks for reading.
